Ever wonder what's inside that creature, entity, organism, cyborg, or whatever the Hell it is? Me, too.
This idea came to me shortly after putting the finishing touches on Universal Exploits. So, it might show up in some form down the road - like a short scenario PDF for Alpha Blue. Though this table could be used for any sci-fi, science-fantasy, weird fantasy, mutant-rich post-apocalyptic, or Lovecraftian gonzo horror RPG (such as The Outer Presence).
So, don't be shy. Rip that fucker open and let's see what we can see!
What's Inside? [d30]
1. Little white seeds clinging to fibrous material.
2. Reddish-orange pulpy substance (2 in 6 chance there are tiny, black poisonous seeds embedded within).
3. Gelatinous violet slush, bubbling (2 in 6 chance of being highly acidic).
4. Coagulated cheese... and pepperoni.
5. A plethora of multi-colored polyhedron dice.
6. Everything covered in hair.
7. The organs are sprouting some kind of alien flora.
8. Writhing tentacles erupting out of the skin.
9. A white light
10. Crystalline facets emitting a soft glow of pastel colors.
11. Metallic endoskeleton.
12. Golden sponge cake with creamy filling.
13. Flickering, ominous emerald-green illumination.
14. The usual blood and guts (2 in 6 chance of having two hearts).
15. Appears physically identical to the person who killed it.
16. Staring eyes swimming in a mass of blackish-green tendrils.
17. Ichor - like a thick black soup of horror!
18. Fleshy nodules squirting magenta mucus.
19. Endless amounts of bacon.
20. Milk chocolate center.
21. Thick greenish-yellow paste oozing out of membranous sacs.
23. Hungry jaws ready to chomp your fucking hands off, man!
24. Throbbing gristle.
25. A small doll (2 in 6 chance the doll is wearing some kind of grotesque mask)
26. Rings like a tree or layers like an onion (GM's choice)
27. Nothing but spam! Spam! Spam everywhere! Spam!
28. Roll again (including a treasure map or silver key).
29. Circuitry. wires, and flashing buttons.
30. Replicated human organs (non-functional).
Well, there you have it. It's strange, silly, and will most likely bewilder your unsuspecting players. If you use it in a game, please let me know.
Authored by Venger Satanis