What are Alpha Blue NPCs doing?

Specifically, what are they doing when PCs barge in on them? The results could be interesting, amusing, and perhaps a scenario seed all on its own...

WTF Are They Doing?

1. Fondling blue crystals.
2. Checking astro-navigation charts.
3. Sniffing panties.
4. Polishing blaster.
5. Cleaning up the mess from prior laser battle.
6. Napping in a large metallic oxygen chamber with their pet space-monkey.
7. Autofellatio training in zero-g.
8. Sorting their collection of... 1) cards, 2) comics, 3) music, or 4) Mego toys.
9. Having their cat chase a laser (not necessarily a pointer).
10. Eating a giant bowl of ice cream (chocolate asteroid flavor).
11. Pacing in circles, holding a wooden plank [while chanting, the NPC will occasionally whack their head with the plank].
12. The NPC is hosting an illegal underground Q'uay-Q'uar tournament.
13. Polishing chrome.
14. Watching porn (2 in 6 chance they are naked).
15. Taking selfies posing with... 1) their blaster, 2) significant other, 3) sex-bot, or 4) holographic environment, like a tropical beach.
16. Staring in the mirror practicing their... 1) poker-face, 2) angry-face, 3) "O" face, or 4) selfie/duck-face.
17. Designing a random table.
18. Gargling salt water to get the taste out of their mouth.
19. In a pile with 2d6 other naked unconscious humanoids.
20. Snorting several lines of premium nyborg deposited on the floor via automated sifters.
21. Trying on a new outfit made from rare imported alien flesh.
22. Watching reality TV.
23. Reattaching a synthetic limb that needed cleaning.
24. Applying skin lotion that helps one evade detection technology (something small and dangerous is being covered up as PCs walk in).
25. Sawing the body of a recently slain enemy and placing the parts in bags.
26. Pleasuring a local noble who promised to clean their public record of all crimes.
27. Shaving.
28. Injecting self with over-the-counter botox.
29. Having sex with a pleasure droid.
30. Re-calibrating the automatic security settings that fire on anything that opens the door without first using the key.
31. Performing surgery on an unwilling patient to harvest their organs for some side money to pay the rent.
32. Trying to patch a blow-up doll.
33. Searching the insanely cluttered room.
34. Sitting with a bunch of friends playing a tabletop roleplaying game.
35. Having an intense conversation with their partner by phone (2 in 6 chance they are so absorbed in the conversation they ignore the PCs).
36. Finishing a suicide note; blaster at the ready.
37. Swallowing Venusian Viagra just as the PCs come in.
38. Practicing yoga - in the self-fellating space swan pose.
39. Playing the stock-market on a laptop.
40. Spreading tarot cards for a reading.
41. Receiving last rites from a templar... including incense, oils, candles, and travel-sized chanting monks.
42. Performing arcane ritual to the eldritch abominations!
43. Quieting the mind via deep meditation.
44. Communicating by hologram with a mysterious hooded-robed figure who says in a gravely voice "Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen!"
45. Making a martini with too much vermouth.
46. Painting fingernails.
47. Watching a holo-vid in which a bunch of space scum burst into a room on a guy watching a holo-vid...
48. Hunched over a table illuminated only by a small desk lamp, sweat on their brow, with a number of delicate tools working on a complex, blinking, device, which reads "Detonation in 15, 14, 13..."
49. Being worked over by Ky'dosh V'voskk and his goons, enforcers for the Wyrmslorr Syndicate (delinquent payment of debt).
50. Interrogating a prisoner (2 in 6 chance of being enhanced interrogation = torture).
51. Playing smuggler's quarry with a table full of low-life spacers.
52. Drug deal about to go down.
53. Arms deal about to go down.
54. Reading a copy of Alpha Blue.
55. Learning conversational Ultarian with Rosetta Asteroid cassette tapes... Kwee moto: Who fucks? Literal translation is who wants to get laid?
56. Brushing their teeth.
57. Showering (2 in 6 chance of showering with a woman).
58. Banging head on desk.
59. Pouring delicious, fizzy Purple Prizm over the ugly, red-veined, throbbing testicles of a rented sex mutant.
60. Handcuffed to a hyper-chamber and wearing furry pink, peephole underwear.
61. Squatting down over a cheetosian slut-bot (orange cheeto-fingers mashing buttons on the control panel).
62. Vomiting into a sick-bag.
63. slumped dead in a chair (2 in 6 chance of guts and viscera caked over the walls).
64. Two aliens dressed as a pantomime horse being ridden by a human bounty hunter named Gland Bono.
65. Wrestling a space octopus in the nude.
66. Putting drops into eye.
67. Performing alien sex ritual.
68. Manipulating the three seashells on a blue crystalline toilet.
69. Watching two girls have sex in the "69" position.
70. Being whipped by a sadism-droid.
71. Reinstalling software on sex-bot after unfortunate mishap.
72. Writing an entry for a hitch-hiker's guide to the Ta'andor galaxy.
73. Working on a crossword-puzzle using a Garthak to Cromium translator.
74. Mopping up green slime.
75. Wiping away blood stains.
76. Mopping up jizz.
77. Measuring dimensions of the room.
78. Desperately trying to find a credit card while on hold with a sex phone operator.
79. Floating in a sensory-depravation chamber (giant black trapezoid filled with salt water).
80. Working through their problems with a therapy-bot.
81. Ordering one of those "space brides" from Trigonomy 3.
82. Ordering a pizza.
83. Eating a pizza.
84. Playing video games.
85. Cooking.
86. Playing laser tag.
87. Checking the scanners.
88. Looking through a peep-hole that goes to the women's shower.
89. Consulting a tanned-flesh bound copy of the Necronomicon.
90. Playing some dumb, time-wasting game on their phone.
91. Triple-breasted titty-fucking.
92. Anal bleaching - line of girls (3d6 deep) waiting to get their anuses bleached.
93. Shaking it on the dance floor of their High School reunion.
94. Making an offer he can't refuse. "I assure you, either your signature or brains will be on this contract."
95. Lifting weights.
96. Being nagged by his wife.
97. Activating a clone.
98. Hiring a bounty hunter.
99. Hiring an assassin.
100. Roll twice!

How Do They Feel About This Interruption?

1. Super pissed about it, actually.
2. Set phasers to "not cool, dude."
3. Totally caught off-guard and slightly embarrassed.
4. Rather ambivalent.
5. Vaguely amused and possibly aroused.
6. Tickled pink.


Thanks goes out to MoonSylver, Samwise Seven, Cory Eagles, Andrew "Zakero" Moore, Glynn Seal, Chris Tamm, Shane Ward, and Jacob Nelson for their incredible creative contributions. Couldn't have forged this whopping d100 table without you guys!


Authored by Venger Satanis


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