Vorpal Shade of Crimson

I was inspired by the recently released 50 Shades of Vorpal enough to write this review and create the following d30 random table.

Once per combat, a warrior (or any fighter-type character class) can choose to roll on the Vorpal Shade of Crimson table instead of making his usual attack. Low-level sissy campaigns may want to wait until PCs are at least 3rd level before bestowing such power unto them.

Assuming the melee weapon is magical or technologically advanced (laser sword, baby!) and has some kind of sharp edge, decapitation might possibly follow. That means the guy being attacked loses his head if the vorpal is successful. Generally speaking, when you lose your head, you die.

FYI, this could also work for a thief attempting to backstab someone or an assassin plying his trade. If you have any questions, ask your GM.

Vorpal Shade of Crimson

1. Self-inflicted vorpal!
2. You vorpal an ally.
3. You miss and fall into a pile of manure.
4. You miss and all your women leave - you can't find sex for 1d3 days.
5. You just miss.
6. You miss, but get +1 vorpal to your next roll on this table.
7. Opponent forced into an honor dual with you, either roll on this table again or roll your normal attack.
8. Instead of decapitation, you sever 1d4 of your opponent's limbs (still hurts).
9. You miss, but The Deth God strikes down a random participant in the combat (possibly you or one of your allies).
10. You vorpal your opponent.
11. You vorpal your opponent.
12. You vorpal your opponent, all bards must roll saving throws versus crimson deth!
13. You vorpal your opponent, a fair maiden witnesses your awesomeness - she will become your girlfriend for the night if you so wish it.
14. You vorpal your opponent, and the cleric must heal you next.
15. You vorpal your opponent, and you get first pick of the treasure.
16. You vorpal your opponent, and a pack of wild dogs comes to your aid.
17. You vorpal your opponent, and you successfully block the next attack directed at you.
18. You vorpal your opponent, and an assassin-wizard owes you a favor.
19. You vorpal your opponent, and gain the companionship of either a formidable badger or a intrepid torchbearer.
20. You vorpal your opponent, and you hath awakened ye Olde Gods!
21. You vorpal your opponent, and there's a mysterious scroll tucked away inside his neck.
22. You vorpal your opponent, and no thieves dare pick your pocket for 1d4 days.
23. You vorpal your opponent. Additionally, your blade grows an inch longer while your penis elongates by half-an-inch!
24. You vorpal your opponent, and you become a Deth Knight (who always gets a +1 to vorpal, always save vs. poison, and is utterly evil)!
25. You vorpal your opponent, and several comely wenches notice your heroic/villainous deed and want to become your sex slaves for the evening!
26. You vorpal your opponent, and 1d3 demons shall serve you for the next 24 hours.
27. You vorpal your opponent, and either a crimson or obsidian dragon agrees to become your personal mount for the week.
28. You vorpal your opponent, and you may immediately attack another opponent - rolling again on this table, if you so wish!
29. You vorpal your opponent, and 2d6 peasants start worshiping you!
30. You vorpal all of your remaining opponenets in one fell swoop!


Thanks for reading, sharing, and commenting! Check out the original Crimson Dragon Slayer and the free preview of new and improved (with less gonzo) Crimson Dragon Slayer 1.11

Couldn't let the melee dudes have all the fun. Here's something for thy deth wyzard!!!


Authored by Venger Satanis


Readers' Rating: