Ta'andor Galaxy Transmissions

Signals! Signals everywhere!!! You never know what kind of transmissions you're going to pick-up on... especially, in the Ta'andor galaxy.

Here's a table including 30 randomly generated possibilities for your Alpha Blue or sleazy, humorous sci-fi RPG of choice.

Ta'andor Galaxy Transmissions

1. Starship damaged beyond repair, drifting in space - they're requesting rescue.
2. Advertisement for Purple Prizm - now with a penis-hardening and erotic violence-inducing secret ingredient, "Drink that grape before you... take part in sexual assault."
3. Advertisement for penile growth pills called "Flesh Dreamers."
4. Coded message from the Hunan Empire [something about cloaked troop carriers].
5. Space Muslim prayer to Allah from the Caliphate. Their god is not pleased that women are shaking their unclothed money makers all around the galaxy.
6. Advertisement for Galactic Glide lubricant that contains performance enhancing body glitter made from quasar crystals, "Make her cream gleam with Galactic Glide!"
7. A hooker just a few parsecs away asks if anybody is looking to party.
8. Starship [neutral] under attack by the Krylon fleet.
9. The Assassin's Guild is proudly claiming their 110th kill this year. They're looking for just one more before the quarter ends (in just a few standard hours). [The PCs make an ideal target - I'm sure there's someone out there willing to pay to have them killed]
10. Some Federation Governor has just arrived on the planet Muluta.
11. Advertisement for escort service on Planet 54.
12. Advertisement for something called "the crotch hugger" - only three easy payments of $19.95!
13. Pink alert - an attractive female humanoid just turned 18 somewhere in the Ta'andor galaxy.
14. Drunk transmission from a green-skinned, three-breasted slut. She's DTF and not too picky about who it is.
15. Transmission from blonde woman wearing space sweater with glasses - she's looking for someone to "Netfux and Chill." [2 in 6 chance she doesn't look like her photo]
16. Contagion outbreak on the moon Shada - virus makes your skin evaporate.
17. Tech company looking for test subject to try out their new weapon system.
18. The Robot Development Cartel is showcasing their latest kill-bot.
19. Wet T-shirt competition on New Alderaan 2 is looking for guest judges. Apparently, a few of last year's judges were incinerated by Krylons.
20. The hull of a nearby starship has space herpes and is requesting other ships take on some of their VIP passengers. Including the princess Daltori.
21. The penile ship Long John... uh, sorry, that's penal ship Long John is carrying several maximum security prisoners to the penal colony on Cygnus Alpha. Unfortunately, the Templars of Dread Cthulhu are refusing permission for Long John to land.
22. A survey team is in this sector of the galaxy. They say they're from a neutral planet and just looking for interesting cultures to study, but their ship is a battle cruiser armed to the teeth.
23. A starship full of Verrada diplomats is being threatened by the Federation because of their refusal to allow the Federation to mine their planet, Verrada, until all its natural resources have been drained.
24. The colony ship Life Force is entering the Ta'andor galaxy, intending to colonize one of the already inhabited planets. The humanoids aboard Life Force believe that all living things should be subservient to their needs.
25. There's a bikini competition on Klaatu and an experimental pheromone drug has been released into the atmosphere on the entire planet. The drug is called PX-111, and it's supposed to make chicks super horny and if they don't have sex, their internal organs will soon liquefy!
26. Social Justice Warriors are demanding that Derej Minor pay diversified lifeforms more than everyone else in order to make up for any "lack of privilege."
27. A notable plastic surgeon has a sudden opening in his schedule and he's willing to perform breast augmentation surgery at half-price. Are you happy with Bs when you could have Ds? Want three breasts instead of two? Need extra nipples? Lactate 24/7! Scales, fur, iridescent "skin job" latex...?
28. A ship full of bounty hunters is circling the area, looking for their prey. They're an uncouth, bloodthirsty lot... and willing to cut anyone who helps them locate Asron Modeen in for a sweet, sweet 20% of the 10,000 credit payday.
29. Zero-G escorts are looking for clients in this part of the galaxy. Half-price for the next standard hour - even the weird, kinky stuff that most working girls won't do!
30. Jihadists in Federation space are threatening to detonate a space nuke if their demands aren't met (several million in credits, recognizing the Caliphate's authority, subjugation of non-space Muslims, criminalization of libertine values, etc.)


There you go. Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing...

Special thanks to MoonSylver and Bill Adcock for their creative contributions!

This random table will show up again (possibly altered) in one of the Battle Star Trilogy: Trek Wars scenarios coming this Summer.


Authored by Venger Satanis


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