Every once in awhile, it's fine to inform players that "nothing happens" when they attempt "x". Because sometimes... nothing does happen. That's the cold, hard reality underlying all the epic awesome fantasy wish-fulfillment swirling above. Use it judiciously, like a demon sword you only bring out for special occasions.... such as the beheading of royalty.
Speaking of which, oil my sword down and then do my hairy back. It's good to be Kodarr the barbarian! ;)